The bus ride from hell
by TCBN
Summary: Fourth graders Karen, Lauren(OC), Rebecca, Stan, (OC)Alex and (OC)Sam are on a bus to a camping trip with Jimbo. Humorous things happen such as drunkenness, arguments, periods, love.(Str8 pairings)
1. Chapter 1

A bus wound down a very long straight road with nothing but dirt on either side of the road. The driver had up a privacy curtain up so neither kids nor driver could see what was going on over the other side.

"Godfuckingdammit!" Stan swore, glaring at Lauren who shrugged in reply, "That box was for when we arrive!"

"Well, it's not anymore, mate" Lauren smirked, yanking a bottle of beer out the box and uncorking it, "People get bored"

"Ugh" Stan crossed his arms, "None of my friends are here!"

"Hey!" Sam and Alex shouted from the back in unison.

"—'Cept Sam and Alex" Stan said quietly

"And me?" Rebecca said quietly

"I just had an angry outburst" Stan muttered

"And my brother's your friend, surely you're my friend, too?" Karen quibbled

"Just leave me alone" Stan muttered, staring out the window

"Hey" Rebecca scooted over to where Stan was, "Why are you in such a bad mood?"  
"I just am" Stan shrugged

"Well, why don't we do a spelling bee?" Rebecca suggested

"Spell accentuated!" Sam shouted

"A- double "C" E- N- T- U- A- T- E- D!" Rebecca smiled

"That was an easy one" Stan said, "what about phlegm?"

"What's phlegm?" Rebecca blinked

"It's" Stan paused, "throat juice but _like_ dick juice"

"Huh?" Rebecca stared

"Stuff you cough up" Alex answered, "thick spit"

"New word" Rebecca clasped her hands, "Emaciate!"

"Easy!" Sam shouted, "E- M- A- C- I- A- T- E!"

"This game's really boring" Stan shouted

"T- H- I- S space G- A- M- E- space I- S-" Rebecca started

"Really, shut up" Stan snapped

The bus ride fell into a silence for a few minutes, when Lauren dropped a bottle out the window, plucking a new one from the box.

"Really" Alex leaned forward, "You're going to get drunk off your butt if you do that"

"I don't care" Lauren shrugged

Alex sighed and sat back next to Sam who started drumming his fingers on his braces to the tune of _Danny Boy. _

"Please stop that" Alex muttered

"I would but I need sound stimulation, it's too quiet here, I'll go insane" Sam shrugged

"For some reason I was expecting Sam to say simulating his— OW!" Karen cut herself off as someone whacked her on the head.

"Fucking perv" Rebecca muttered

"What? Perversion is in the genes!" Karen laughed

"Can you at least play a better song?" Alex asked

"Nope" Sam shrugged, folding his arms

"He-" Lauren hiccupped, "I can't feel my teeth"

"Ho boy" Stan murmured

"Hey" Sam stared out the window, "I just thought of a new game"

"What's that?" Alex asked

"I spy" Sam answered

"Ugh, that's a boring one" Alex rolled her eyes

"Do you have a better idea?" Sam asked

"Eye spy with my mascara riddled, green eye something starting with the letter M" Alex deadpanned

"You're not wearing mascara" Sam stared

"The point precisely. Mascara is absent, the letter M!" Alex snapped

"You're supposed to think of something present" Sam deadpanned

"I spy something starting with a-" Alex couldn't help but freeze "You go"

"What?" Sam waved a hand, "fine. I spy something beginning with a- I think Karen's dying"

"Huh?" Alex stared

"With a P?" Sam raised his voice in a question.

Alex glared at Sam, "really, Sam!?"

"Look" Sam pointed on the leather seat where something had appeared. Karen had fallen asleep and turned over, revealing a smudge on the seat.

"That's-" Alex reddened to the same shade of her hair

"What the hell is that!" Sam hushed

"It's a girl thing" Alex murmured

"What? You piss blood?" Sam asked

"….Technically" Alex answered, face palming

"He- hey why are you talking about me?" Karen asked, turning around. "My tummy hurts, I'm starving"

"Karen you have a…." Alex trailed off, "a thing"

"What thing?" Karen blinked back at the duo behind her

"You pissed yourself" Sam answered

"No I didn't!" Karen spat, angry

"You" Alex looked around, "ah…. yourself"

"What?" Karen asked, touching her pants bottoms only to go white as she lifted her hand to her face, "Oh SHIT!"

"YYyyyyeaahh" Alex sat back down.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam looked very uncomfortable. He looked as if he was holding something in.

"Dude, what's the matter?" Alex asked

"I have to fart" Sam strained, "and I'm trying to save the whole bus from it"

"Gross!" Alex gagged, "Please don't fart!"

"Can't- hold- it- in- any- longer" Sam crossed his legs

"Can't you force it back in?" Alex tried

"That's like trying to force your period back up!" Sam snapped

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Alex retorted, "It's just that I don't have any farting tampons!"

"Did you say tampon?" Karen turned to her, "do you have one?"

"No, I don't" Alex said quietly

"Oh god" Sam grunted, "I drank too much soda"

"At least it wasn't apple juice" Stan muttered from the middle of the bus

"Aw you look so cute when you're straining" Alex teased, poking Sam

"Then I must look fucking _adorable_ while taking a dump!" Sam screeched

Alex burst out laughing along with the rest of the bus. Lauren raised a hand to her mouth and let out a burp.

"Would you rather have ass breath or beer breath?" Rebecca asked

Sam let out a loud smelly fart, causing everyone to groan and snap in irritation.

"Gross, dude!" Alex held her nose, "Jesus you smell!"

"_Bite_ me" Sam rolled his eyes

"I would if I still had razor sharp braces to cut you up" Alex snapped

"Hey Rebecca, are you doing anything for the summer holidays?" Stan asked

"Yeah, I'm going to Switzerland" Rebecca smiled in reply

"Cool, they make great chocolate there" Stan answered

"I don't like chocolate" Rebecca mumbled

"Why not?" Stan looked astounded

"It's bad for your health and has 300,00 calories per bite" Rebecca said

Stan scoffed, "is there anything you don't know?"

"Not really" Rebecca shrugged

"I think you're really pretty" Stan complimented

"Isn't it what's on the inside what counts?" Rebecca blinked

"We look the same on the inside" Stan deadpanned

"I mean our personality" Rebecca said

"I can't believe you don't like chocolate! That's like hating kittens!" Stan remarked

"I'm allergic to cats" Rebecca looked down

"Do you like weed?" Stan said for laughs

"No, it's bad for you" Rebecca stuttered, "r- really b-bad. I hate camping and I sure as hell hate animal cruelty!"

Uncle Jimbo turned from the driver's seat, pissed off "I can hear ya!"

"Then why the fuck did you come with us!?" Stan spat

"I don't know" Rebecca snapped, "I was-"

Lauren barfed all over Rebecca, wiping her mouth.

"Shit, I'm sorry" Lauren whispered

"Ugh" Rebecca looked upset, "I wanted to be with you"

Stan rolled his eyes and glared at Rebecca

"You even said you hates this because none of your friends were here" Rebecca tried

"I was on a short fuse. I meant I couldn't believe Kyle and Kenny aren't here and YOU'RE here!" Stan snapped


	3. Chapter 3

Stan took out his phone and stared at a long text message. He groaned and shoved it in his pocket, unhappy.

"What's the matter " Rebecca blinked

"Wendy somehow-" Stan glared at Lauren, "Knows about the trip"

"What? You're an unfaithful idiot" Lauren snapped

"They're going to beat Rebecca up!" Stan retorted, shoving Lauren

"Who'se dick did you have to suck to get a girlfriend like that!?" Rebecca stared

"Actually" Stan lifted a photograph, "There's a doctored photo of you sucking Kenny's dick, FWD: to Bebe"

"EEEehhheheheeewwwiiieeeee!" Rebecca covered her mouth, eyes covering her mouth.

"That fucking bitch" Stan fumed, "she has such terrible trust issues!"

"Well, you did just HIT on Rebecca!" Lauren snapped

"I didn't fucking HIT on her!" Stan shouted

"Jesus" Lauren sighed, downing another bottle, "Chill out

"Are you telling ME to chill out!?" Stan reddened in anger, "YOU just destroyed my relationship and Rebecca's life!"

Karen, a look of evil on her eyes, stuffed her hands under her pants and smeared blood on Lauren's face, who stared in schock.

"Karen" Lauren gasped, "Did you just wipe me with your period?"

"That's for telling on one of my friends!" Karen pouted

"Ew" Lauren shoved Karen, wiping the blood and smearing it down Karen's face, angry.

Rebecca's phone rang. Rebecca lifted it to her ear, trembling.

"Mum?" Rebecca whispered

"I TOLD YOU HANGING OUT WITH THESE KIDS WOULD TURN YOU INTO A WHORE!" her mother screamed

"Calm down, ma!" Rebecca whitened, "Wendy's just a bitch! She's a BULLY!"

"Hey! That's my girlfriend" Stan said

"When you get home" her mother growled, "We're moving!"

"Where, ma?" Rebecca blinked

"To Switzerland!" her mother snapped, "And I hope to god you haven't been dick munching on this trip!"

"I haven't!" Rebecca squeaked, "You know me!"

"Well, clearly, you're a SLUUUTTTYY WHORE!" the mother screamed

"Mum!" Rebecca started to cry, "It's all Wendy's faul-"

Stan grabbed the phone, hung up and threw it back, fuming.

Sam and Alex stared at the commotion, glanced at each other and shrugged. The fart smell had dissipated. The bus pulled into a petrol station.

"Why is everyone fighting!" Jimbo laughed, "Why don't we have a break"

Everyone got out. Karen and Lauren raced for the bathrooms to clean up and have Karen buy a tampon. Stan sat near Rebecca who cried helplessly. Alex and Sam wandered into the store and Alex bought a mars bar.

"Hey, can we share that?" Sam asked, "That was the last one"

"Bite me" Alex stuck the bar in her mouth, hands on her hips

Sam stepped forward, grabbed Alex by the shoulders and took a massive bite out of the bar sticking out of her mouth, causing her to scream in fright.

"Didn't see that coming" the store manager laughed, watching Sam silently walk back to the bus, chewing, ignoring Alex who stared in surprise.


	4. Chapter 4

The kids filed onto the bus. Jumbo laughed as Sam got on.

"I didn't know people today kissed with food in their mouth" Jimbo pointed out

"We weren't" Alex called to the front

"Oh, then what was that?" Jimbo stared

"Jimbo, Sam bit Alex's dick off" Stan said, getting in the bus, "As Alex was being a dick"

"….Oh" Jimbo shrugged, getting into the driver's seat, starting the bus up and driving.

"I have to think of a payback" Alex snapped at Sam

"Take your time" Sam shrugged, "thanks for the mars bar"

Alex rolled her eyes and sat in the back with Sam.

"I can't believe my life is ruined" Rebecca bawled, covering her face  
"I'm sure it's not" Lauren reassured

"YOU ruined my life!" Rebecca spat

"You were trying to get with Stan! He's taken!" Lauren snapped

"I can't believe this" Rebecca sniffed, "My life is ruined"

"Don't be too sad, you get to live in the land of chocolate after this trip!" Lauren tried

"Why don't we all just avoid arguing" Stan muttered

Lauren was snoring, head pressed to the window. Stan and Rebecca were playing Naughts and Crosses in his notebook, or Hearts and Arrows just to annoy each other. Alex and Sam were playing wave to the driver behind the bus. Out of boredom, one of them would flip a driver off, causing the driver to swear, honk their horn and just go spastic, causing them to laugh.

"So, Rebecca" Stan said, "I'm sorry about what Wendy said"

Rebecca sighed, "It's fine. She's a bitch"

"I know" Stan mumbled, texting Wendy

_WE ARE SO OVER, WENDY!_

_You're breaking up wiv me!?_

_Yes, Wendy, we're not good for each other_

_Yes we are! _

_No, we should see other people_

_She's a whore, Stan! _

_Goodbye_

Stan shoved his phone down his bag and smiled at Rebecca who blinked back in confusion, then in relief.

"Lauren's a bitch" Rebecca whispered

"I know" Stan mouthed

"Unlock that child door" Rebecca pointed over Stan, to the sleeping Lauren

Alex and Sam were laughing, watching a guy scream behind them, flipping them off. They turned to the front and blinked. Lauren was gone and the door had just slammed shut. Turning around, they saw a figure tumbled in front of a car, smacking into the bonnet, getting crushed and emaciated under the wheels.

"Oh" Sam swore, staring as the carnage sped off into the distance as they drove

"I forgot Lauren was with us" Alex murmured, sitting back down

"Oh sorry kids, we must've run over a deer" Jimbo called


	5. Chapter 5

Alex, Stan, Sam and Rebecca stared, mouths agape, in shock. Jimbo was whistling a jolly tune, not sure why the kids looked as if they had seen Jesus lap dancing Santa on the side of the road. Like _that_ would ever happen.

"I can't believe Lauren's…" Alex motioned outside

"I know" Sam hunched over, "I- I don't think we knew her that well"

"That explains why no one's all that traumatized or anything" Alex shrugged

"Sorry I've been annoying this whole trip" Sam changed the subject

"Same" Alex shrugged

"Hey, you alright?" Stan scooted over to Rebecca

"Mm" Rebecca shrugged

"Well, hopefully we'll arrive at the camping trip soon" Stan said

"Yeah" Rebecca smiled

Stan put an arm around Rebecca who put her head tentatively on his chest.

"I should probably call mom" Rebecca sat up

"Can't you deal with her once we get home?" Stan asked

"Uh, yeah" Rebecca resumed her head on him, "Yeah. I have to!"

She phoned her mother.

"Mom" Rebecca spoke, "I am not a multi-timing whore"

"Yes you are!" her mother barked

"I have my eyes on one guy and he only has eyes on one girl" Rebecca spoke, "If you can't accept who I am, you can go and fuck yourself!"

She hung up, dumped the phone and wrapped her arms around Stan, smiling.

Karen, sitting in the front passenger seat decided to phone Kenny.

"How's everything?" Kenny asked

"Lauren's dead, Wendy broke up with Stan and Sam and Alex are arguing and I got my thingy" Karen answered

"Oh what an action packed trip" Kenny replied

"Yeah, what about you?" Karen asked

"Kyle's got food poisoning, Cartman's pretty much beat the crap out of Butters for saying no to a massive scam he wants to do" Kenny said, "And he's trying to egg me into it. I have to go, phone's dying"

Karen turned to look, only to see two people making out, tongues down each other's throat, hands up shirts and legs straddling.

"Well, that escalated quickly" Sam cocked an eyebrow

"Hey, Sam, have you ever watched porn from the back, a different perspective?" Alex asked

"Huh?" Sam pointed in front of them, "This? Now I have!"

You watch PORN!?" Alex screeched

"Uh" Sam blushed, "At least I'm not jerking off!"

"You jerk off to your FRIENDS!?" Alex shouted

"Who doesn't" Karen shouted from the front

"I don't!" Sam laughed, dodging Alex's playful punch

"God you hang around Kenny too often!" Alex laughed

The three children sat there in silence, eventual moaning and groaning started from the middle of the bus.

"I'm going to pretend I'm fast asleep" Alex muttered, curling into a ball


	6. Chapter 6

The bus pulled over into a snowy terrain, causing Alex to scream and plummet to the floor, getting a nosebleed.

"Dude, you okay?" Sam asked, watching Alex sit back up

"Do I look okay?" Alex stared

"No, not really" Sam smiled, "You have a nose period"

"Jesus, Sam" Alex huffed, wiping her nose, "Fucking period jokes!?"

"Don't be so angry" Sam laughed, "I'm averting your attention from the live-"

"We've arrived, children!" Jimbo jeered, cutting Sam off

"Ugh about time" Alex muttered, "I feel bad for everyone having to watch _live action porn_"

"Just read me mind" Sam smiled

Stan and Rebecca shoved off one another and yanked down their shirts and zipped their pants.

"Hm" Rebecca smiled, "You're a WONDERFUL kisser"

"I am?" Stan grinned, Wendy said I kiss like a vacuum"

Rebecca snorted with laughter. They filed out the bus and stretched. Sam shivered due to the freezing snow.

"Okay, we just have to set up camp" Jimbo said, "I need to buy some stuff from the shop a ways up"

"It's freezing!" Sam complained, "Let's set up the fire"

"Uncle, I'm going to show Rebecca the deer" Stan took a hold of Rebecca's hand and fled for the woods, leaving everyone to look at one another and instantly know what they were planning to do.

"I want to phone Kenny" Karen stood and moved away from the camp. Jimbo got in his car and drove off, leaving Sam to stare stupidly at the coals and the wood.

"Alex, how do you set up a fire?" Sam asked

"Uh" Alex shrugged as she shivered, "Dunno"

"Maybe you do this" Sam picked up a bag of coals and dumped some it in a pile

"I'll get wood" Alex went to the bus

"No need to get wood!" Sam shouted, "I have it!"

Alex turned around, only to redden, "Pervert"

"Just hurry up! I'm freezing!" Sam shouted

Alex sighed, yanking out a few logs and walking over to Sam, in his hand was a lighter. They dumped the wood on the collection of coals and set it alight, watching fire slowly catch alight.

"Hey what's the most annoying thing someone has done?" Sam asked

"Kenny takes the cake" Alex shivered, "you?"

"Being stuck with a lab partner who insists on remarking how I suck at science experiments" Sam laughed, "who would be more annoying, Kenny or Cartman?"

"Well, one person is always offending the crap out of you and the other insists on grabbing your butt every five minutes so, they tie" Alex shrugged as the fire expanded into a semi-bonfire, "Dude, we put too much coals in the fire"

"Oh" Sam stared, "At least the fire's bigger. You didn't even say I was annoying and we annoy the bajesus out of each other today!" Sam stood in front of Alex

"I guess I've become used to it" Alex smiled

"Am I more annoying?" Sam pulled Alex towards him and grabbed her bum

"AHH!" Alex shoved Sam over, hard, sending him flying into the fire

"Oof" Sam whacked his head on the ground, knocking himself out, on the fire

"SAM!" Alex shrieked, grappling for Sam's legs and dragging him out the fire. Sam's coat had become scalded and was bubbling as plastic started to melt, sticking to his skin. A bruise started to appear on the side of his head. Alex wasn't sure if to cover him in snow or take off the coat or to leave him. Alex trembled in fear as she knelt with him, unsure what to do. Eventually she had the idea what to do. Google what to do.


	7. Chapter 7

_Le meanwhile_

Somewhere, deep in the woods Karen sat on a tree stump, feeling stumped about what was going on around her.

"Kenny, I want to go home" Karen sighed

"It's only for the next 48 hours, you come home tomorrow" Kenny reasoned

"But my friends are getting it on, arguing at the campfire and Jimbo's gone to the store!" Karen whined

"Well, just fucking deal with it!" Kenny snapped

Karen hung up and sighed. She sat a while. Someone around her height ambled over and sat down beside her.

"Hey, do you live here?" the boy asked

"No, I'm just on a hunting trip with friends" Karen shrugged, "I'm just enjoyin the scenery"

"Oh" he looked behind him and back to face her "were those two your friends? A while back in the woods?"

"Yeah" Karen smiled, "Brunette and black haired couple. What are they doing? I can't find them"

"Um, maybe we should leave them be" the boy blushed, "They were getting intimate"

"What are you doing so far out of town?" Karen changed the subject

"I live around here. I live on four acres of land, my house is a while that way so technically you're trespassing" he laughed

"Oh god I'm sorry" Karen blushed

"Don't fret" he laughed, "I love making new friends, even with those who accidently trespass"

"What's your name?" Karen asked

"Charlie" he smiled, "Charlie, the guy addicted to sour candy"

"I'm Karen, the girl trespassing by mistake" she laughed

"Where you from?" he asked, "clearly not here, in the bush lands of Idaho"

"I'm from Colorado" Karen answered, "You look like you're in my year. Three?"

"I'm actually in year four" Charlie replied, "You must be bored sitting here awkwardly if your two friends have run off to fuck, leaving you out"

"I don't think they would have a threesome with me" Karen snorted

"I didn't imply that, I meant sex is such a two person activity between two people that friends feel instantly alienated from" Charlie blushed

"Yeah" Karen shrugged

"Have other friends not doing it?" Charlie asked

"Yeah, there's two more" Karen pointed, "They're at a campfire"

"Why don't we go have a look for them" Charlie offered, "I love making new friends"

"Sure" Karen smiled, standing up and leading the way


	8. Chapter 8

_Le MEANWHILE_

Sam turned over, groaning in utter agony. He was back in the bus, a blanket shrouded him tightly and an occasional page was turned, sounding like someone was reading next to him. Sam could feel that his face was burnt, his lips felt chapped, he could see his nose looked bright pink and he felt like his back was being dipped in acid.

"Sam" Alex touched his shoulder, "Are you alright?"

"I think I have a cobra on my ribcage" Sam croaked, opening his eyes

Alex blushed, "I found a first aid kit and bandaged you. I must've done it too tight"

"Great excuse to rip my coat off" Sam weekly laughed, shifting to loosen the bandages

"Yeah… your coat isn't a coat, it's a pile of molten ash" Alex rolled her eyes, "and god you're so annoying even when reduced to a burn victim!"

"Thank you for not leaving me to cook" Sam mumbled

Alex touched the side of his head, "it doesn't hurt, does it?"

"It fucking does, don't touch it!" Sam winced, swatting her hand, "God my back feels as if someone scraped it off with a razor"

"You've got bad blisters on your back and neck because you fell into a fire!" Alex snapped

"Well, you did shove me in it!" Sam hugged the blanket closed, "How long was I out?"

"I don't know. Jimbo hasn't come back" Alex shrugged, "But a while"

"Ugh, my head hurts so much" Sam groaned

Alex then jumped out the car and came back in, with a handful of snow.

"What are you doing with that" Sam started to move away

"It could help" Alex placed it on Sam's head

"Please don't" Sam shifted, "It hurts worse, so much worse"

"I feel so bad for doing this to you" Alex sighed, "I can't believe I did this!"

"I'm sure you didn't mean to" Sam enclosed Alex in his blanket as she threw the snow out the window. She looked back at him, watching him smirk.

"What?" Alex blinked, head on his shoulder.

"Oh nothing" Sam cocked an eyebrow

Alex closed her eyes, instantly feeling something resembling a steak touch her lips. Gently touching his head, Alex kissed him, careful not to press too hard on his blistered mouth and chin.

"You feel like chops" Alex whispered

"Burnt or raw?" Sam murmured into her mouth

"You're so charred" Alex giggled as they kissed

Meanwhile, somewhere _else_ in the woods, two people were violently getting in on when a mirage appeared in front of them.

"Guys" the mirage spoke, "It's Lauren!"

"Jesus, fuck off!" Stan rolled off a heavily breathing Rebecca

"But-" Lauren started

"What!?" Rebecca sat up, covering up

"Jimbo, he's dead" Lauren pointed in a direction

"Shit!" Stan yanked up his fly

"And you should use protection" Lauren muttered

"Ugh shut up!" Rebecca flipped her off

Lauren dissipated when a huge creature barged its way through. Blood smeared all over it, it roared, staring at the duo.

"Oh shit it's a bear" Rebecca squeaked


	9. Chapter 9

Charlie raised a shotgun and blasted the brains out of the bear threatening to maul Rebecca and Stan. Karen screamed as the bear fell, dead.

"Are you guys okay?" Charlie asked, walking up to them

"Yeah, thanks man" Stan sat up

"I just want to go home" Rebecca sniffed, tearful

"That's where I come in" Charlie smiled, "I know a bus to Colorado"

"Where's Jimbo" Stan asked

"He's dead" Karen squeaked, "We passed his corpse on the way here"

"Shit!" Stan swore, whitening

"We should go to your camp" Charlie said, "There's actually a few bears here"

They started walking back to camp.

"So" Karen smiled at Charlie, "Do you think you'd come visit Colorado?"

"Hm" Charlie shrugged, "Maybe, one day"

"That'd be fantastic" Karen smiled, edging closer

"As much as I'd like to be friends, I feel like you're coming onto me a little quickly," Charlie said

"Oh" Karen backed away, "Sorry"

"She's just a desperate pervert" Rebecca laughed

"Fuck off" Karen snapped, annoyed

They arrived to the campsite, Alex and Sam were busy arguing, once more, sitting in the bus. Once they got on, they stopped arguing and greeted everyone.

"Hey!" Sam waved to the crowd that got on the bus

"Howdy" Charlie sat in the driver's seat; "I'm taking all of you to the bus stop"

"He's Charlie" Karen said to the duo in the back of the bus

"Well, that was a fast new friend someone made" Alex chuckled.

Charlie started the bus, clearly unsure how to drive. He jerked the bus forwards and cautiously wound them through the thick snow and trees.

"Stan" Rebecca held up a stick for him to read

"What's tha- ew it has piss on it!" Stan gagged

"That's the entire point" Rebecca scoffed, "It's a pregnancy test"

"Oh" Stan stared at the darkening pad on the tip of the pen, "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah, I want to keep it" Rebecca smiled

"Lady" Stan cleared his throat, "Three things: A. That was WAY too fast! B. We're way too fucking young to be bring up a baby! We're too young! We're supposed to be children, focusing on video games, chocolate cake, school and making friends, not drinking booze and getting it on!"  
"That was two things" Charlie glanced in the rearview mirror

"Stay out of it!" Stan snapped, "Rebecca, I regret the last two hours. I can't believe we actually screwed each other! We're too young, so young I don't think half the guys in our year can even have a full boner yet! We're still in like the first stage of puberty and we're already screwing!? And your body can already have a baby!?"

"Stan!" Rebecca looked hurt, "You said you loved me!"

"I can't do this" Stan crossed his arms, "Just drive, Charlie"

"Yes, angry X boyfriend!" Charlie saluted, "Stop talking about…. Well…_It_"

"It's gross" Stan admitted, "Charlie can't even say _sex_"

"Grosses me out" Charlie shuddered, "It! It's you-know-what!"

"Did you ever think of doing _you-know-what _With anyone?" Karen glanced at Charlie who shook his head, hunching over the wheel.

"My point proven" Stan snapped, "people our age is still disgusted by the notion of THIS!"

"FINE!" Rebecca screamed

"Hey, you at the back. What happened to you?" Charlie called

"I got incinerated" Sam shrugged

"Ouch" Charlie jerked the bus onto the main road, "Nearly there, people!"

"I can't believe this!" Rebecca cried

"Shut up, Rebecca!" Stan shouted

"This camping trip must surely have had a lot of arguments" Charlie muttered

"You can say that again" Alex laughed

Charlie dropped the crowd at the bus stop, waved them all good bye.

"It comes in two minutes" Charlie called, driving off, "Thanks for the bus!"

"Bye!" everyone waved him off

Eventually the bus arrived and everyone filed on. As per usual, Alex and Sam started arguing, on the steps of the bus.

"I swear, the Xbox 1 is way better!" Sam complained

"No, god we've been over this!" Alex rolled her eyes, "It's better quality and the controllers are so awesome on the ps4"

"Ugh" Sam crossed his arms, glaring, "So, you're telling me, you'd prefer the more expensive ps4?"

"Yes!" Alex snapped

"Hey, everyone on this bus!" Sam shouted, "Who thinks Xbox1 is awesome!"

Nobody put up his or her hand.

"What about the Ps4?" Sam shouted, only to widen his eyes in shock as everyone on the bus lifted a hand.

"Hey" Sam shrugged, "Only one hour ago, we seemed to get along. We never fight and all during this trip-"

"Stop giving me the fucking GUILT trip!" Alex snapped, shoving Sam into the doors that opened all of a sudden before Sam even made impact.

"I don't take kindly to Xbox 1 players" the bus driver drawled, smiling in glee.

"ARRRRGH!" Sam screamed as he fell out, onto the road, rolling.

"_Sam_!" Alex pressed her face to the now closed doors, staring in shock; She ran to the back of the bus and stared, watching an ever-shrinking Sam slowly stand up. At least he was alive.

"Shit!" Alex screamed, "STOP THE BUS!"

"I don't stop busses for Xbox players!" the driver snarled

"No!" Alex sat back down, feeling heartbroken

The bus rolled it's way to Colorado, leaving Sam to stare in shock, at the bus roaring away.

"Hey, man" Charlie walked up to him

"Hi" Sam mumbled, sitting on the side of the road, shaking from shock, blood pouring down the side of his head and his hands. His shoulder felt like it was dislocated. He lay back down on the ground, feeling like death. Sam watched as Charlie called an ambulance.

"Want to play ps4?" Charlie offered, "while we wait?"

THE END!


End file.
